What I have learned in 2010

I have learned so much about myself in 2010. I learned that I am me and that is fine. Who I am is just who I am supposed to me. I am a good person, I am an intelligent person. I can do just what I decide to do. If I can dream it, I can do it. I can be proud of myself. I do not have to wait on anyone else to be proud of me.


There are ebbs and flows in life and I am allowed to ebb and flow in my feelings. Everything is not all or nothing. I have finally freed myself to progress at my pace.

So in 2011…

I will continue to become more confident in myself. I will not let fear keep standing in my way. I am tired of being afraid. I will let MY light SHINE and those who don’t like it can KICK.ROCKS. I WILL BE MY AUTHENTIC SELF.

It seems that I communicate with you all online more than I do with my friends “in real life”. You guys see the good and the bad. I appreciate you being there with the supportive comments. I appreciate it more that you will ever know.

Here’s to an awesome 2011!

Brainiacs...brainiacs on the run...

School, school and more school.  That is what has been going on on this show lately.  I am so glad that it is winter break from school right now for the both of us.  I really wish that I was on break from work too. In time I will be.  Yay...
 
I went to a parent-student-teacher conference before the break.  This was the first one of the year.  I thought that this was odd because I remember my mom attending conferences in October.  Apparently the school system is now on a trimester system which makes sense I guess. 
 
So the only time that I have talked with my son's teacher was briefly in the hall as I was leaving and she was arriving at school. It was a good introduction but I was so ready for the nitty gritty.  He has not had any problems, he has been progressing wonderfully and still learning so I did not see the need for to request a conference. 
 
He received his report card the previous week and it was stellar.  He knows all of the requirements that he is supposed to know for Kinder.  Honestly he knew many of them before he started school thanks to Mommy Preschool.  He also received a glowing report from his French teacher.  He participates and seems to enjoy French class according to her. I knew he enjoyed the class because he is always introducing French words into our conversations and completely throwing me for a loop.  He is also a pleasure to have in class. I was happy to hear this because sometimes homeboy can be off the hook at home. 
 
So on to the conference.  I will admit that I was nervous. I attended conferences with my sister when my mom was too ill and after she passed but that was a while ago.  It seems that when my child walks into his classroom he turns into someone else.  She told me that she has not had any behavior issues out of him.  I was like O_O He came home with a card about talking one time and she has to tell him to slow down when it's time to get in line.  That's it.  She also showed me his reading test scores and he got 100 percents on all 3 parts.  He even got a 100% on a concept that had not been covered in class yet. She also showed me some of his work.  He is making sentences.  One of theme was "I like Mom".  That made me happy.  There was also an award for the students that most exemplify that characteristics of Dr. MLK and she nominated my son. He did not win but that's ok.  I feel like this is just the beginning for my boy.  I know that I have a long way to go but I am thinking of the push I need to maintain for him to be an outstanding student and man in general.  I am still beaming about this.
 
I know now that it was for the best that his class got another teacher.  I like this teacher alot.  She seems to love teaching kinder.  She gets my respect for that because I don't think I could do it.  She has a really good attitude about the students and likes my boy alot.  My sister tells me how she sees her out playing with the kids at recess.  She appreciates that me and the family work so much with him academically.
 
School is going fine for me.  I had to take the first of my professional exams and I passed the reading and math.  I am still waiting on the writing scores. I am not even playing, I was sweating bullets when I was going over the study guide. I sometimes get test anxiety bad so I was starting to panic.  I calmed down with the help of an Oldgirl on Twi.tt.er and went to bed. I woke up with my mind on staying calm and worry free. I went in there and kicked that test's behind! YIPPEE!
 
I probably won't get back here in time so MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!!!
 
What's been going on with yall?
 

...Brings Me Joy

Hot Chocolate
 
A good Book
 
Soul stirring music
 
Watching my little sister meet her accomplishments
 
A good, can't breathe, holding my belly laugh
 
A night out with my BFF (no kids, no hubby)
 
Fitting into my old clothes that I have not been able to fit in a year
 
Hearing my 5 year old son read (Gives me goosebumps)
 
Giving away my son's too little but not worn out clothes
 
An ice cold Pepsi (I'm trying to kick this though)
 
The Book of Proverbs - I am studying the book of Proverbs for the month of December.  I am reading and journaling about this book.  I have never studied the Bible like this before.  Waking up in the morning to have quiet time with God and the Bible has given me such a sense of peace. I skipped this weekend due to laziness and I felt the difference.  I was off kilter.  It's like it be calling me man.
 
My son, my sweet pea, my baby boy brings me more joy than I ever knew was possible.  I never thought I would me a mother.  I am too much of a loaner and way too moody but God had other plans.  I was not one of those gushy baby talk pregnant people.  I was going through hell with his dad and was scared out of my mind about motherhood.  I did not think I would be able to raise a child but I was trying to stay cool and calm.  I was raising my sister but she was 12 when I started.  He was born and my life changed, the mother in me was born.  I fell in love with this little guy.  He is my love. He is my heart outside of my body.  The fear I had about being a mom went away when I stepped into my womanhood and let myself grow up.  I became his protector, his teacher, his comforter, his guide and many more things.  I call myself MamaBear because I will fight through any fire to protect my son.  Even though he is a HANDFUL, I thank God for him.