Happy Birthday Mommy!

Today would have been my mother's 57th birthday.  It is amazing to think about how the world has changed since she has been gone.  There were no s.ma.rt pho.nes or FB and Twi.tter.  When she passed I still had dial up internet.  There was no Real Hou.sewi.ves of Wherever or shows showcasing the sheer ignorance of This or That Sports Wives. 
*sigh* 
There was no grandbaby to spoil.  I think that's what gets to me the most, that she never got to meet her grandson.  He would have loved her and she would have spoiled him rotten.  I know that they would have had the most awesome bond.  I told him today that today was his Granny's birthday. He asked was she going to come from heaven to come see us.  He is so sweet. 
 
She would have been the flyyest grandma.  She was so tall and beautiful.  She looked regal with her beautiful chocolate skin and the pinks and purples she blended seamlessly around her eyes.  She gave an aura of intelligence and confidence that made people flock to her.  Most people that she came in contact with loved her and if they didn't it was because of an internal issue within them. 
 
She had a smile and laugh that would light up a room.  I got my smile from her and passed it down to my beloved.  I see that same sparkle that was ever present in her eyes in his.  That makes me happier than any one could ever know. 
 
I've been through some ish since Mom's been gone but she is always in my heart and in the back of my mind telling me to keep on.  Keep on pushing, keep on fighting. Even in my darkest of times, I know that I will.  I will keep on pushing and fighting.  I will live the life that she couldn't live because she was taken away from us.  I will...
 
Loving you always Mommy,
 
Your Oldest Baby.