Daddy issues...
I think I have them and I do not want them. He called me twice yesterday and I didn't answer either time. My dad and I began to get close after my mom passed and it was ok but I usually dreaded when he came by. It was a forced conversation on my part. He's aight but he is not one of my favorite people. Then I bought my house and I heard from him more than ever. He was calling to check up on my son and I, seeing if I needed the number to a yard man, etc. All of this just happened to coincide with him getting laid off from his job due to the economy here and his getting a divorce from his umpteenth wife. I have been able to recognize the similarities in my dad and my son's dad. They both seem to be users that move from one woman to the next that is willing to take care of them. I have known my son's dad since I was 17 and he was 16 so I truly got to see how he operated. I was blind to the fact that he would do these things to me too. I recognized these traits in my dad when I thought back to some of the things that my parents told me separately about their relationship and the things that I have witnessed myself. He knows about his ratchness in the past and thinks that because he is a deacon and so active in the church, it's all water under the bridge. Welllll dude I can see how you are still operating and I do not want this man in my life. I do not want my son to see this and grow up thinking that this behavior is on. Most of all ole dude thinks that he is going to swoop in and be daddy. He hasn't been there and it does not even feel authentic. When he should have been there he wasn't. I have worked out my life without a father in it. There is not room...
Daddies be there from the beginning. Do not expect room to be made for you later.
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On the Rock
17 hours ago
3 comments:
awww ((hugs))
I understand. I was appreciative when my father came back into my life (13 yrs old) that he allowed our relationship to progress on my terms. However, he's still the same man I've heard him to be and I look at my partner and see so many shared characteristics (good and bad). I can confirm for myself, I do often feel as if I've picked my father and have had serious conversations with girlfriends who share this thought process. With this in mind, I'm working hard on my son to instill some things that as a person and a man will elevate him.
I feel ya. My son's biological father has never laid eyes on him. The day my son came to me and told me that he wanted to change his last name...I completely understood.
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