It's my birthday....

At 6:18am on this very date 33 years ago I was born. I have been feeling kind of strange and scattered lately. I have been going through this ever since my mom passed around my birthday. This is one of the times of the year that I feel her absence the most. My mom really celebrated my birthday. Even the little time I had with her as an adult, she still made my birthday special.


Because of these feelings, my actual birthday has been kind of blah. But I am still so thankful. I have come a loooooong way even in just a year. My faith and relationship with God is stronger than it was last year. I am eating better and moving more.

Three years ago on my birthday I was crying and devastated over the crap that happened with my son’s dad. I went out and cut most of my hair off. I went to that salon looking so damn pitiful. It was the beginning of my process of hiding. I tried my hardest to become damn near invisible.

I know how blessed I am that I was able to get out with my life. I cannot even begin to imagine my life or my son’s life if he was in it right now.

This post did not take the celebratory tone that I wanted it to. I guess I can’t fake it today. I know all these things are true but I am just not feeling it at this moment. Sorry…