Strength

Strength.


I am going to take a page from my favorite Oldgirl, Ladylee, and look up the definition.

strength (str ngkth, str ngth, str nth)

n.

1. The state, property, or quality of being strong.

2. The power to resist attack; impregnability.

3. The power to resist strain or stress; durability.

4. The ability to maintain a moral or intellectual position firmly.

5. Capacity or potential for effective action: a show of strength.



People always make the comment that I am so strong. When anyone lists my attributes, this is at the top of the list. I have heard this throughout my life especially in the past 10 years. And I get sick of it.

How do they know how strong I am. They don’t know how much pain I am in at any given time. They only see what is external. They can’t see what is going on inside.

Many times I do not feel strong. I feel weak and small and pained.

One of my twit.ter sisters helped me see something. I was really upset and discouraged after another big expense popped up with my sister’s car. I made a remark about people always thinking that I’m strong. She helped me see that strength is not handling business with the absence of pain but handling business in spite of the pain. I told her that I just do what needs to be done. She told me that that is what strength is. I had to really think about it. That is the 3rd definition above: The power to resist strain or stress; durability.

I needed to comprehend this because I can finally give myself permission to hurt. It does not diminish me in any way. I can be in pain but still be strong. Or I can be strong while in the midst of not feeling my best.