I was having a convo with my bff last night about this older abrasive AA woman that is in her new class. This lady seemed to take offense to my friend even being in existence. The lady tried to challenge everything that my friend said. BFF seems to have the affect on older AA women. She is biracial and fair as fair can be with light brown hair and blue eyes. Black folks can tell that she is black but others are confused. I mention this because it seems to be why she gets so much tude. I have seen this numerous times, she she and I used to work retail together years ago. When she had an older AA female customer 8 times out of 10 the lady would get an attitude with her. Now if I was reading about this situation I would say well your friend must have a bad attitude but it is just the opposite. She is one of the nicest, most helpful people I know. She is truly my ride or die. Since we both have kids, we try to limit the hooriding. ;) Maybe people think she is being fake when she is just displaying good manners and being professional. You know what, I am not even going to say it b/c she is biracial because I have an example using myself. And it could just be the people here, there is a real small town mentality among our people here.
I am a generally quiet person. I learned to put it all the way to 10 during my stint in retail. It was my first job and I needed to work for my car note. I learned during this time that people are cool and I like being helpful so I didn't mind putting it to to. Generally I enjoyed my time there. Some AA women would have their tudes and roll their eyes but that made me just be sweeter. LOL, I would pour on my syrup and they would recoil.
I all bring this up to say...where are the women that want to nurture and help the ones younger than them? Do they want us to repeat the same mistakes that they made? Instead of being abrasive and having attitudes, where is the support and sisterhood?
So you may now want to ask me...what have I done to help those younger than me. Nothing...yet. I am hoping to use my role as a teacher to be a positive aspect in all students lives. I used to say that I wanted to do classes for young girls to teach them about loving themselves. I don't know where that thought went, I guess life just got in the way. I may need to revisit this...
I have been asking God to use me where he sees fit. Perhaps...
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On the Rock
17 hours ago
3 comments:
where are the women that want to nurture and help the ones younger than them?<----- we were talking about this at church not long ago. The older women have tried talking to the younger ones but they all have this "i'm grown you can't tell me anything attitude" so they just stopped trying. It's sad because a LOT of the younger ones NEED to be taught.
Ya got one right here!!! LOl
My hand stays stretched out to help the younger female folk. In fact, I'm at work right now training a young AA female in this dog-eat-dog field of nursing. She's 28,I'm 20 years older. She just told me how grateful she is that, I'm the one training her because, the other ones are mean.
Here's what I've found, you can't lecture people...who wants that? You have to meet people where they are in life and make them think. Sometimes posing a question to a young person is more effective than "telling" them how life is?
Is this really how you want to live your life? What are your plans to change your situation? The older person can generally work from there and have a more receptive person on the other end because, it's not a lecture.
I went through the attitudes from older AA women when I was in my 20's and I swore I'd never be like that when I was older.
Two thumbs up on this post.
As a "younger" female I tend to notice this also. It's like older women want to compete with me instead of giving me direction or check me every once in a while.
I also notice that I tend to come off older than what I am to some like, two years ago I was 26 the group that I rolled with was 32-40. I often found myself checking them and the things they were doing. smh
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